Working through avoidance of negative emotions overview


Everyone has negative emotions in them. Some of us where raised to believe that having negative emotions is bad. We are not allowed to entertain them, and must banish them from our minds. If that works for you, awesome! Don’t read on.

However, if banishing feelings from your mind is a problem for you, read on. What follows will blow your mind!

Those negative feelings of revenge, tit for tat, or just destruction are part of a growth pattern. This means that not only are they good, but they actually can lead you right into accessing your higher self in a new way! How cool is that?

This pattern follows a 4 step journey to emotional freedom.

1. The first step as we have already mentioned is feeling a desire to revenge, or hurt oneself or another. These feelings must be felt completely before moving onto stage 2.

2. One begins to ask oneself what is the motivating feeling behind the feeling for revenge. These feelings are raw and usually involve a trauma, or an unmet need. Take it slow.

3. Here, one is able to execute a new sense of free will. By looking at the same situation, one gains a fresh perspective, and can see things in a new light.

4. Finally, one is able to get a sense of unity with oneself and others. Here, the concepts of sacrifice become normalized and feel deeply satisfying, without feeling like one is losing out in any way.

Taking it one step at a time, let’s dive into the good stuff. The first step will be to find your avoidance. An easy way to find that space is to look at where you are choosing self sabotage in the form of allowing another to cross your boundaries.


Think about a time where you have allowed someone to overstep your boundaries because that was easier than feeling what was coming up for you.

Write it down, and save it for next time.

“I am releasing shame by admitting this, but if not now, then when?

I have allowed myself to overstep my own boundaries. I like to be organized and keep a space that serves me. However, I am constantly leaving things for another day, or another time. I look forward to uncovering the feelings that I’m avoiding over the next few posts.”

Please join me as we explore this incredible opportunity for growth. Remember, the more brutally honest you are with yourself, the better your outcome will be!

Thank you Robert Ohotto for explaining these concepts so clearly in your lecture here

In this lecture, Robert focuses some of the time discussing Scorpio, and the levels of emotional states that one works through that are represented astrologically by the Scorpio sign. He also makes it clear that astrology is a reflection of energy and emotional patterns that flowing through each person, and the human race as a whole. Astrology does not cause us to feel anything, rather, it reflects the state we are in.

What motivates you?


If you could feel a feeling every day for the rest of your life, what feeling would it be? Another way to phrase the question would be, when you are feeling your best, what do you feel like?


1. Remind yourself of a time when you were feeling great.

2. What mind-frame were you in at that time?

3. How did that thing you were doing make you feel?

4. Can it be that this feeling is something you would like to access on a daily basis?

“I felt great when I was learning physics in undergrad. I felt like suddenly I understood my world. I felt motivated to learn, and even got myself a tutor, just for fun!

When I was learning physics I was curious and excited! I was driven to learn, even though all the cards were stacked against me, not enough math background, an online class, with a poorly written textbook. I loved to learn physics. I was in my element cracking those equations and figuring out how the world works!

Studying physics made me feel engaged and motivated. My mind was busy with equations and angles all day. It was as if the world was labratory.

I would like to increase my feelings of curiosity and learning. With my mind involved in learning, it’s easier to get through unpleasant tasks that are part of my routine.

When is a time you felt your best? How can you explore that time to find out something about yourself that you can take with you to motivate you to move forward in creating the best life for you?

Everybody has feelings that they want to avoid


Everybody has feelings that they want to avoid. It’s how you approach those feelings that adds to your uniqueness.

Do you choose to move into blame when those feelings come up?

Do you choose to fix yourself or someone else?

Do you choose quiet acceptance?

Maybe you choose artsy expression?

Do you get into intellectual debates?

It’s always about some feeling that you are getting prepared to face and deal with, when the time is right.


1) think about what came up for you as you were reading what is written above

2) what was your initial reaction to those words

3) take comfort in the knowledge that you are a complex human being

“I started reading the above content until I felt a feeling come up. It swooped right in and I responded quickly. “They will judge me”. (inadequacy) My eye sight changed and the words blurred. I realized that this response means that I am just like everybody else. I have flaws. I am imperfect. I have triggers, and I love them!”

What is one way you avoid thoughts and feelings? Can you join me in loving that you are human?

Structure and why it’s important


We all know how important it is to process through our feelings. Structure is extremely important for the empath, and those who feel deeply. This is because giving the body an understanding of what to expect helps it learn what to ignore when it comes to sensory and emotional input.

A great example is to look at a child who is extremely sensitive to his surroundings, and has trouble processing through feelings. Such a child benefits from highly structured routines and needs extra support transitioning through activities. When daily routine gets rearranged, this child has a melt down, because he can’t figure out his next move.

Using that example as a parable, we can look at our emotional state as the child, and his beloved routine as a way to help our inner emotional child to feel safe. The structure and routine is there to help protect a deeply feeling parts and help them know that they can feel whatever they want, and we won’t allow them to get lost.


1. Think about the times that feel the most reactive to you.

2. Observe the ways you help yourself through them.

3. Think about 1 way that you can move into more structure in that time.

“A reactive time for me is prayer. I like to push it off. I feel like either I’m distracted, or feel what I’m saying too deeply. I’m going to choose to make prayer into a more structured time. I’m choosing to set aside a certain time, dress a specific way, and follow a specific protocol in my actions when I pray. I will choose to continue to allow my mind to wander if it feels it needs to, and get emotional if it feels it needs to. The structure of time, dress and actions will provide more safety for my mind to settle down when it’s ready.

When is a time that you feel reactive? How do you address it?

Getting what you want


Imagine you were able to have something you always dreamed of. Perhaps it’s an increased income, or finding your significant other. Imagine being in that place where it has already come true.

What is holding you back from getting to that place? Write down anything and everything that is holding you back. Get it out of your head, and onto a piece of paper.

Notice all of the places where you wrote down a circumstance or another person’s name. Those are the places where you are giving away your power to another. Can you find the inner strength to take your power back? Change your mindset from “they are holding me back”, to “they are the resistance I need to fight to strengthen myself to become who I need to be to get what I want”.


1. Write down what you want for yourself

2. List the things that are holding you back

3. Highlight where you listed another person’s name or a circumstance

4. List 1 action step you need to take to overcome the resistance, and strengthen you to becoming more of a person who has what you want

“I want a relationship with myself where I love and take care of myself in the way that I desire to be treated by those around me. Some things that hold me back are chores and errands. I would consider dirty dishes circumstance. I have an opportunity to wash some dishes, showing myself how much I care about me. I feel like leaving them for later, because that would help me feel carefree. I am choosing to wash them, because I want to feel taken care of. I am taking care of me in a new way. This exercise is shifting my mindset. I always dreamed of hiring someone to cook and clean for me. Now, I’m realizing that doing actions of self care, remind me that I’m worthy.”

What do you want for yourself? What’s in your way? How can you overcome it?

Respect part 10


Using the Aleph א, which represents consciousness, as our guide, we continue to explore the internal process that happens as we travel through this internal journey of self development.

The right top corner of the Aleph represents the new energy flow that comes in through the top of our head. It has an aspect of being above the heavens, and a sapphire stone. It’s hidden from us and it’s not possible to successfully access it.

The only way to access it, is by going through the process of silencing our current thoughts and emotions, and receiving it as a gift when the time is right.

This means that there is NO way to expand our perception other than silencing our mind. We can study all kinds of philosophy, and accumulate all sorts of knowledge, but our perception remains the same until we begin the process of silencing our thought and our emotions.

The process may feel scary, and intimidating. It may feel like it’s going a step back, rather than moving forward. Silencing those feelings as well takes a tremendous amount of courage and strength. It is overcoming your greatest fear. Doing it once, does not mean that the second time will be easier. What does happen is that doing it enough times, and taking it through until the end, becomes a way of life.


1. Think about what you perceive your future expanded perception to be.

2. Realize that your ideas of expanded perception are inaccurate, because there is no way to know what your expanded perception will be.

3. Take comfort in knowing that you don’t know

4. Silence your biggest trigger, and watch the expansion happen

“I used to think that expanded perception is knowing that God has a plan. I would think that I was expanding my own perception by contemplating on what that plan might be. I realize now that this is me running in circles in my mind and thinking that it’s accomplishing something. I chose to silence those thoughts, and the feelings of despair that I found underneath them. Then my heart, and my head. Then a voice saying “I can’t do this!” I got to place of knowing that I don’t know.

I then chose to silence my trigger of “I’m not good enough”. It was a deep one. I silenced it until I felt like I had a shift. I got a sense of confidence that I can control myself in a new way.

What sense of expanded perceptions are you choosing to let go of? What happens when you do?

Today’s blog post is based of the teachings of a great Jewish Rabbi, Rabbi Nachman from Breslov (1772-1810), who’s teachings are complied in a holy book on self development, entitled Lekutei Moharan. Lekutei Moharan teaches us how to mold our mindset in order to achieve happiness and tranquility in our lives.

To read the original text click here

Respect part 9

Rabbi Nachman’s teaching

Now that we have more understanding of the process on an action based level, we can delve into the concept of perception. What really happens to our perception when we go through this process?

We begin with that moment where we silence the thoughts and emotions. That place is where we feel the lowest of the low. It’s a place of becoming completely insignificant. Not only does a person feel insignificant, they even make those thoughts insignificant. It’s like they are nothing.

That, my friends, is the beginning of a new perception. When emotionally, you hit rock bottom, and you keep silencing all thoughts, and feelings, bringing lower than rock bottom, the only place to go is up.

This place of complete inner nothingness can be compared to being at G-d feet, a sapphire brick. The first letter of the Hebrew Alphabet is aleph א. Aleph represents the concept of awareness. This space of nothingness is represented by the left bottom leg of the aleph. It’s so tiny and constricted, yet it’s completely itself, while being tiny and constricted.

This space of silencing our thoughts is also compared to the Hebrew vowel sound that sounds like a hard e sound. It’s the sound that comes out when we constrict our vocal cords until the least amount of air escapes.

When taking the step to silence thoughts and emotions, and achieve true respect, we are going through a space of constriction and construction of our own existence, allowing ourselves to be lowered, and then lowering ourselves further, and then we come to realize that we have come to the place of knowing our own insignificance, so we can make room for God. That’s the place of discovering a new understanding of God. We begin at the feet, and continue through the journey.

To be continued…


1. When you chose silence, observe what happens in your body and mind.

2. Come up with your own metaphors to describe your experience.

“I chose to silence my desire to make change. The desire was a dragon. A colorless, odorless dragon that stood to protect me from something big. I silenced it. I turned down the volume on the thought “I need to make change”. My internal world became nothing. It wasn’t dark, it wasn’t light. It was nothing. Then a desire to fill this space with something came forth, and I watch a light form deep inside my belly, it projected upwards. I honestly feel confused, and ashamed. It was too close to what I was expecting.”

When you silence a thought and associated feeling, how do you experience it?

Today’s blog post is based of the teachings of a great Jewish Rabbi, Rabbi Nachman from Breslov (1772-1810), who wrote a holy book on self development, entitled Lekutei Moharan. Lekutei Moharan teaches us how to mold our mindset in order to achieve happiness and tranquility in our lives.

To read the original text click here

Respect part 8

Rabbi Nachman’s teaching

Respect part 8 (torah 6:4 3rd paragraph)

When a person masters entering and exiting their inner world, through silencing their mind and feeling their body at times, and speaking their truth at other times, they are on their spiritual path. The spiritual path always leads to honor and respect. Honor and respect always leads to expanded perception and an ability to refrain from work, and receive.

This is a deep understanding of the work we put in all week, and what the concept of the Jewish day of rest, Shabbos, is about. It also explains why we have a whole month of Elul to do this process leading of to the day that’s considered to be the Shabbos of all Shabbos, Yom Kippur.

When we truly master the ability to silence the trigger, we can say the words of confession, and allow the process to affect us. We do this by saying the words, and silencing the thoughts and feelings that subsequently come to our minds. The rest of the process happens for us.

There’s also the part of owning our desires and speaking our truth. When we do this we are judged by others. Becoming a master at this process prepares us emotionally for being judged by God Himself on the holiest day of the year. It takes the fight/flight response out of it, and we can truly experience the awe, and the love of having our every action examined by our creator.


1. Think about a time you spoke your deepest truth.

2. Try to remember the feelings around it.

3. Can you recall what felt good about it?

4. Can you recall what felt not good about it?

5. Can you bring up the “not good” thoughts and feelings, and silence them, to feel something change in your body?

6. Congratulate yourself on having taken a step toward mastering the process of teshuva! You are preparing yourself for the high holidays!

“I spoke up to someone who wronged me. I was finally speaking up, after being hurt for a long time. I was super emotionally charged, but I spoke my truth. In the moment, I felt awesome! Finally, the day came that I wasn’t afraid to speak up. But then the judgement stormed in. It came in hard, and it came in fast. It said things like “how can you speak when you are emotionally charged? This is so not okay. You always get it wrong.” I wanted to run from that judgement. Sitting with judgement is really hard for me. I chose to silence it. I felt anger in my chest. I silenced it as well. My neck got tingly. My hand went numb. Silence. It was more challenging to silence my hand…how do you silence a numb hand? More judgement “you can’t do this! It’s impossible!” I put my phone down, and focused. This was hard work. More thoughts, more shutting down the volume. More body parts speaking up, more silencing them. Then, for a moment, all was silent in my body and mind. I think it was the first time ever. I wasn’t even waiting for something to happen. It lasted a second and then the mind chatter started “im bored, what am I doing”. I didn’t care! I did it! I did some form of teshuva! I got to a place of rest! The expanded perception piece? That’s up to God! Now I will celebrate by reading back this share out loud as gratitude to God for bringing me here.”

When you try this exercise, how does it work for you? I would love to hear!

Today’s blog post is based of the teachings of a great Jewish Rabbi, Rabbi Nachman from Breslov (1772-1810), who wrote a holy book on self development, entitled Lekutei Moharan. Lekutei Moharan teaches us how to mold our mindset in order to achieve happiness and tranquility in our lives.

To read the original text click here

Respect part 7

Rabbi Nachman’s teaching

The process of healing, spiritual journey, self discovery, or teshuva is a journey. In order to travel on this journey, it’s necessary to become an expert traveler.

There are two phases of this journey. One is ascension, the climb, choosing to silence our ego, running toward. The other is attending to our needs, creating space for ourselves, speaking up, descending into Hell, returning to.

Both are equally important in this journey. You can’t get to where you want to go without both of them. This is represented by the Jewish month of Elul, which is coming up with this coming new moon. In Hebrew, Elul is looked at as an acronym for “I am to my beloved and my beloved is to me”. I am to my beloved represents the climb, “my beloved is to me” represents the fall.

Both skill sets are integral parts of the process. Yes, sometimes, it’s important to feel, be down, and take the steps to stand up for ourselves. Other times, it’s important to chose silence. Only you know when to chose what. That knowledge comes from experience and practice.

We know that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert in a field. 10,000 hours! This means that as long as you make the choice, you are moving toward becoming an expert in self development.

Exercise for today:

1. Notice when you feel triggered.

2. Notice what choice you make.

3. Celebrate your progress towards becoming an expert in gaining respect!

“I got deeply triggered by a wonderful class I am taking. I chose to attend to the trigger, by reaching out for support, and speaking out my feelings. That was choosing to strengthen my returning skills. I’m proud of myself for taking a step forward toward mastery! I celebrated by enjoying a delicious iced coffee!”

Which choices did you make today? How did you celebrate them?

Today’s blog post is based of the teachings of a great Jewish Rabbi, Rabbi Nachman from Breslov (1772-1810), who wrote a holy book on self development, entitled Lekutei Moharan. Lekutei Moharan teaches us how to mold our mindset in order to achieve happiness and tranquility in our lives.

To read the original text click here

Respect part 6

Rabbi Nachman’s teaching

What happens when a person chooses not to take the path of teshuva?

If a person chooses to take the path of ego, does that mean that the person is affecting God, and influencing God?

This question, not only explores the concept of whether or not God is affected by those who choose the ego path, but it also explores who ultimately gains control, those who choose the Godly path, or those who choose the ego path.

God chooses silence when we choose ego. That makes it seem like we can affect God, and those that choose Godly respect. This, however is completely untrue. Rather, God waits until the world to come, the place of expanded perception. It’s at that time that those who choose the ego driven choices will see the err of their ways completely through the clear perception of the world to come.

1. Think about a time when you chose teshuva over ego driven actions.

2. Think about a time when you chose ego driven actions, over teshuva.

3. Notice the different kind of results you got.

4. Notice how you felt inside, compared to the results.

5. Think about which choice you prefer.

“I chose teshuva over ego based reactions recently with a friend. With this specific friend, I have had many opportunities to choose both sides. I have chosen teshuva, as well as ego, at different times.

The results differed for me, in that when I chose ego, I felt better, and gave myself space to eventually work from a teshuva place, and let the issue go.

When I chose teshuva, it usually created moments of awkwardness, while I did my process, and at the same time, it was okay, because I didn’t need to create space.

I’d rather do things in the moment, so I don’t build up pockets of extra “me time” needed. However, I feel okay choosing to create distance when necessary as well, now that I think about it.

How do you look at the idea of knowing that choosing Godly respect will always prevail? Does it affect your decisions in life? How?

Today’s blog post is based of the teachings of a great Jewish Rabbi, Rabbi Nachman from Breslov (1772-1810), who wrote a holy book on self development, entitled Lekutei Moharan. Lekutei Moharan teaches us how to mold our mindset in order to achieve happiness and tranquility in our lives.

To read the original text click here